Polite Ways to Say Someone is Lacking in Smarts ...
• A few beers short of a six pack

• A few clowns short of a circus

• A few feathers short of a whole duck

• A few fries short of a Happy Meal

• A few peas short of a casserole

• All foam, no beer

• An experiment in artificial stupidity

• An intellect rivaled only by garden tools

• As smart as bait

• Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box

• Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash

• He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down

• Her receiver is off the hook

• Her sewing machine is out of thread

• Her Slinky’s kinked

• He’s living proof that evolution can go in reverse

• His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels

• His belt doesn’t go through all the loops

• His chimney’s clogged

• His cornbread ain't done in the middle

• His skylight leaks a little

• If he had another brain, it would be lonely

• Missing a few buttons on the remote control

• No grain in the silo

• One Fruit Loop short if a full bowl

• One taco short of a combination plate

• Several nuts short of a full pouch

• The cheese slid of his cracker

• The wheel’s spinning but the hamster is dead

• Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear