Questions ...
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Can you cry under water?
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Have you ever seen a comic strip?
How can someone draw a blank?
How can there be self-help groups?
How can you say something “in your own words?” Don’t we all use the same words?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
How does the snowplow driver get to work?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
How much deeper would the oceans be if sponges didn't grow in them?
How young can you be to die of old age?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
If a cow laughed would milk come out her nose?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ... is he still wrong?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how's it stick to the pan?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"
If sex is so personal, why do we have to share it with someone?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
If the guy is undisputed heavyweight champ of the world, what's all the fighting for?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy’s Law, will something keep going wrong?
If you shoot at a mime, should you use a silencer?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you're "legally drunk" -- what's all the fuss about?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
In baseball, why is a ball that hits the foul pole a fair ball?
Is it bad luck to be superstitious?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?
The light went out, but where to?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
What do they pack Styrofoam in when they ship it?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
What hair color do they put on driver's licenses of completely bald men?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What if there where no hypothetical situations or questions?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What is another word for synonym?
What is another word for thesaurus?
What is the speed of dark?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
When you erase a word, where does it go?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Who did the owner of the first modem talk to?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers are not afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" and not "asteroids"?
Why are the locks in Panama and the keys in Florida?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do banks charge a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Why do they call it a gang plank when there’s room for one?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do they call it the human race? Do they expect someone to win?
Why do they have trash cans at movie theaters?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why do tugboats push their barges?
Why do we drive on the parkways and park on the driveway?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why do we tell people to shut up when machines to shut down?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do women need permanents every 2 months?
Why do women want 1 man to satisfy all their wants and needs, and men want all women to satisfy their 1 want and need?
Why do you buy a wastebasket, take it home in a bag, unpack it and then put the bag in it?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why does an alarm clock “go off” when it begins to ring?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not a-door?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why is stuff we send by truck, train or air called a shipment, and sent by ship called cargo?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is the fear of long words called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?