Signs ...

• On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."


• Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."


• In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."


• On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."


• At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."


• On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"


• On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."


• In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."


• On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."


• On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."


• At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."


• On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."


• At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


• At the Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."


• Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."


• At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"


• In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."


• On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."


• In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


• On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."


• At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."


• In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"


• On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."


• In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."


• Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."


• In a Cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."


• On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."


• In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."


• A Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."